radish hashbrowns, by molly

I can tell people I’m cutting out starches and sweets in order to lose a little pudge and no one says boo, but the second I say the words “low carb” folks tend to do one of two things: roll their eyes, as if I’d just said I’m doing the Hollywood Juice Diet, or immediately regale me with horror stories. So I tend not to use the words “low carb” any more. I just tell folks I’m replacing my previous diet of All Corn Syrup, All The Time with a diet of nutrient-rich vegetables and healthy proteins and really, can anyone argue with that? Oh. Yeah, they totally can. And they do. So I’m largely in the low carb closet unless someone asks.

99% of my meals are pretty normal and balanced — some sort of meat + some sort of salad/vegetable — and an observer probably wouldn’t even notice anything amiss unless the lack of bread or rice or fruit or sweets was blatantly pointed out. You don’t have to eat bizarre shit to stay compliant is all I’m saying. I avoid all the weird low carb products and cook my meals from scratch, using fresh, unprocessed ingredients. I’m literally eating more vegetables than I ever have in my life and I feel fantastic without my blood sugar constantly spiking and plummeting. Go me.

But. BUT. Sorry to say, one Sunday morning I would have punched even a family member in the face if I meant I could eat some hashbrowns. Enter this recipe.

Radishes? Awesome.

sweet, innocent radishes

sweet, innocent radishes

Bacon? Awesome.

sweet, life-giving bacon grease

sweet, life-giving bacon grease

Radishes cooked in bacon grease?

EPIC FAIL

EPIC FAIL

Oh, fuck NO. People, listen to me: do not do this. Put down the radishes. Walk away from your skillet. Because… you know what radishes cooked in bacon grease taste like? They taste like radishes cooked in bacon grease. This is NOT something you want to put in your mouth.

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One Response to radish hashbrowns, by molly

  1. GiGi Smashly says:

    Wow. That. Is. So. Gross.

    I just had to share my utter and complete agreement with you.

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